Overwhelm

I have not found any real time to meditate. This makes me a bit sad.

I feel a bit of overwhelm with my daily life, to be honest. Two teens and a 7 month old are wearing me OUT. I feel sometimes like a big ole failure with a capital F. Seems like I can hardly get anything even done. Am I too old? That's what I think sometimes, but, that is just silly. I know other moms that seem to do it all, and that makes me feel even worse. Grrr.

Trying to run a business is near impossible with a 7 month old and driving over 100 miles a day to get the teens to and from school. Little Miss O. HATES the car, so, driving over 100 miles per day really does suck. Being a mom is a full time job, and with no help during the daytime hours, there is no way to get any business stuff done. Heck, I can hardly get myself a shower. Now, I'm doing the whole sleep training thing, which is better than before, when little Miss O. would just nap whenever, and use my boob to put her to sleep at night and every other time as well and we never knew when that was going to be, how long she would sleep, or sometimes my night would be over at 7pm because I'd be in there with her. Sleep Training is something that HAS to be done, in order to keep my sanity. Now that night times are almost figured out, I'm working on nap times as well. It's all a learning process, really. Hopefully things start to run a bit more smoothly in the future. I'm banking on it. Crossing all my fingers and toes!

Tonight we are going to a Fish Fry. I'm excited! We went to one last Friday but it was pretty icky. So, this week we are going to another one...apparently they are open all year round and do Fish Fry's every Friday. Hoping it is better. Little Miss O. LOVES to eat Fish! It is definitely her favorite food! 

Blessings, (keeping it real)

Leslie

Whiny Me and The Lesson I Learned

After re-reading my post about Transparency, I just wanted to delete the whole thing! It just showed me how whiny I can be sometimes and then I got on a roll, didn't I? It is so easy once a negative thought enters the mind for those negative thoughts to keep multiplying.

I used to practice Meditation on a daily basis. It was so hard at first. In fact, I never thought I would be able to do it. I then met a teacher who showed me that I was making it a lot more difficult than it actually was. I eventually found that The key to meditating was not to force my mind to empty itself of all thought, but rather, to begin to observe each thought as it passes through and LETTING the thought pass through instead of becoming detached from observance.

It seems that I, like many people, can get caught up in my daily thoughts and in turn they begin to own me, when, if I were to be able to slow down, and observe those thoughts through my daily existence, perhaps I would be able to be more in tune with the Universe and with who I really Am.

I haven't practiced Meditation for a good two years. Even though it brought me such Zen, I turned away from it for awhile, as my life was taking a series of turns and twists. I'm ready to begin again.

I am ready to start fresh.

Blessings,

Leslie.

A Little Now and Zen: Transparent

A Little Now and Zen: Transparent: I hope to become more transparent because of this blog. I feel like too many of us wear masks around all the damn time, even if we say we ...

Transparent

I hope to become more transparent because of this blog. I feel like too many of us wear masks around all the damn time, even if we say we do not. YES, we do. I wear a mask around different people and I can feel the change going on inside of me. It eats away at me, and I'm ready to peel back the layers, again. And again. And again. It is an ongoing process, this mask. I take it off, and it re-appears. The ONLY person the mask comes completely off for is my husband.

Currently, I'm a bit ticked off, or maybe ashamed, or maybe stressed, or I don't even know the real word for it, because I've been trying to get this online business of mine off the ground for several months, and it is getting NO WHERE. We are a family of five living on one small income, and that income is the job that my husband has. He works so freaking hard and it seems like no money is made from it. However, the price to be paid for daycare, gas money, and the loss of the peace of mind you have from knowing your kids are ok, are priceless and I would have it no other way. Hoping this kind of takes off soon! I guess I'm not that SAVVY in the workings of the web.

The ultimate goal is to create a website in which we can live off of, and move to Ecuador. Seriously. Yep. I said it. Ecuador. None of our family knows about this. Well, my parents do, but, they know because we KNOW that ultimately they are completely supportive of all that we do. I do not want some of the others to know because I feel like negativity eats away at energy. Why even bother? Right?

Blessings,

Leslie.

 

FREE dom

I am not new to the blogging world. But, this blog is new. This is a time for new beginnings.

I have chosen to write here on Blogger after first writing here, then going to Wordpress, and decided that this was just so much easier! Plus, I feel that Blogger has many more choices available and it is completely free, which is something that I truly need in my life right now. FREE dom. :)

I do not have a huge point to make in this first post, rather than to say hello. My life is busy yet it is not, and I know that may not make so much sense, but, as time goes on, it will become more evident what that means. 

Bless,

Leslie.